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Horoscope - December

Horoscope - December

The present horoscope is based on an ancient tradition of reading toilet paper to predict the future. Predictions are proven to be completely 100%-of-the-time accurate. 

 

Aries

21st Mars - 20th April

 

Work: Aristotle said that one should be aware of their own ignorance. This month you should never overlook sound advice. 

 

Love: Your partner may be closer than you think. 

 

Other: You definitely need carrots. 

Taurus

21st April - 20th May

 

Work: Obstacles don’t exist for you as you weave your own road forward. Have faith in yourself !

 

Love: It may be time for some new discoveries.

 

Other: Beware of spices.

Gemini

21st May - 21st June

 

Work: One side is hypocrisy, the other is embarrassment. Think wisely before throwing the coin.

 

Love: Confess your love if you haven’t. Otherwise tell your partner that you love them.

 

Other: Take the time to sleep.

 

Cancer

22nd June - 22nd July

 

Work: Life is like a pendulum swinging from boredom to despair. What a great man this Schopenhauer is.

 

Love: You will be surrounded in love as much as you deserve.

 

Other: Eat regularly ! 

 

Leo

23rd July - 22nd August

 

Work: Why work when you can have fun?  Well, you see the results… 

 

Love: Enjoying your sex life is good, but try not to go overboard

 

Other: Take care of your throat

 

Virgo

23rd August - 22nd September

 

Work: Uni may seem hard for you, but you always have the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t give up yet !

 

Love: It’s time to confront what is not right in your relationship. Don’t keep suffering.

 

Other: You need a Teddy bear. 

 

Libra

23rd September - 22nd October

 

Work: Your work will soon get the acknowledgement it deserves. Keep your head up. 

 

Love: Something good is going to happen to you sooner than you may think.

 

Other: Don’t cut onions.

 

Scorpio

23rd October - 22nd November

 

Work: However shitty a situation may seem, there is still hope. Or maybe not. 

 

Love: You need to talk, otherwise your family / partner cannot understand you.

 

Other: Your lucky color is red

 

Sagittarius

23rd November - 21st December

 

Work: This is YOUR month ! The astral odds are with you, an opportunity might arise, up to you to seize it. The same water doesn’t fall twice under a bridge. 

 

Love: Perhaps the desert isn’t that empty.

 

Other: Be careful of high places.

 

Capricorn

22nd December - 20th January

 

Work: Following the trend may work for some time but won’t solve your problem. Try being the Lion instead.

 

Love: Originality. Surprise your partner or family, and you will be suppressed in return 

 

Other: Bring a scarf, be wary of the cold.

 

Aquarius

21st January - 19th February

 

Work: You’ve already done plenty. Stop for a while, look at the sky, and just appreciate the present moment.

 

Love: Everything will go fine like a fish in water.

 

Other: Don’t forget to turn off the light.

 

Pisces

20th February - 20th Mars

 

Work: Do not count your chickens before they hatch. You should finish your own work before thinking of doing more.

 

Love: You need to finish the present book to start a new one. It might be time to turn the page

 

Other: Sleep. Sleep. And even more sleep.

 


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